Today was a good day!

Lately I have been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what photography means to me. Why do I love it? Why do I do it? How will I continue on with photography and what place in my life will it hold in my future?

On another front I have been watching and learning more and more about our current economic and social state of affairs. I see more schools that do not carry arts programs, I see gas prices rising and my grocery and energy bills are ever growing. I wonder a lot these days what my future will look like and there are times when I wish I had more. More money, more time, more passion, more of the things that I think most people think about, especially in these times.

I have always been a very optimistic person and there is not a lot that can get me down, I always believe in the better times ahead and I always look at the good in a situation. This may be why I am somewhat blind to the way the world around me is and can often be. I try not to watch the news because I believe it is usually sensationalized and hyped for other reasons, I gain access to my information from online sources where I can decide if a story is worth my time and energy. I know I live a good life, I have family and love, I have a house and a car. I have art and a career. A worry for me is when I can't get the next new gadget or when my house isn't clean. I live a good life but I am seldom reminded of it outside of my little world and so sometimes the mundane and downright stupid can affect my day for the worse.

I recently had an opportunity to be called upon by some family and friends to provide photography for a family in need. I have always been interested in using my art and passion to help out others and this was a wonderful experience. I was asked to photograph a young man who was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and who had only a short time left with his family and loved ones. I knew that this would be a difficult assignment mentally since it was a first for me and because I am a fairly emotional person. I don't know how photojournalists deal with the things they see and face regularly. I wasn't sure what to expect but when I got there I was introduced to someone who was so full of life that you'd have a hard time believing he was in the process of saying goodbye. It is very difficult for me to imagine being in his place and I could only hope to be as brave as he is. Even now my natural response is to shut out the experience for if I do not know of it I could never have to live it. I've been fighting that battle, I can't just push the experience and feelings it produced aside because of my fears but I also cannot let it consume my every thought. I have been trying hard to learn from it, to open myself up to the idea that every day is a gift, i've always thought that way but like most I rarely live it. He will forever be a part of my experiences and a part of my life through the moments I captured of he and his family. The experience has opened my mind to how i may be able to contribute to others and to life in general through my passion and art.

I was reading a blog post by a photographer I follow named Vincent Laforet and it was about this years TED prize, a grant to help a media journalist tell a story, awarded to an accomplished photojournalist named James Nachtwey. From a photography standpoint his work was inspirational and I got a lot from looking at his photos but by listening to his story, the one being spoken as well as the one being told through his pictures, I had a look at a side of life that I think most of us naturally shield ourselves from.

I watch the video presentation and view the images and I think, how can we ever be upset when our to-go order is wrong or when our bosses or clients get upset with us. How can we ever have a single bad thought about the things that happen in our Starbucks/Target driven lives. Each and every day that I go on living I am thankful to reside in a society where there is the possibility of creating art, expressing opinion, going to see a movie, eating out with friends, enjoying time with family. We have so many opportunities afforded us and we let our days be driven by the guy who had the nerve to get in front of us on the highway.

The older I get and the faster life moves by the less time I devote to thinking about the simple pleasures we all have access to day in and day out. The more I have the less it is enough. Even sitting here writing this I am thinking about whether this will stay with me or if the stories of my week and the to do list of next will crowd it out and it will fizzle out of my head forever forgotten. I know this gets heard all the time and maybe it is because we see it everyday in the world around us that we are numb to what it truly means but man do we have it good! For anyone who is wondering if life can get any harder, for all of you out there who have an ounce of dissapointment about their lives, for anybody else who lives in their own little world most of the time and for everyone who cares even a little bit about anything please watch this clip in it entirety. Set aside 30min, if not now then schedule it in and do yourself a favor and see what this man has to say. It will be worth every second of your time.

http://www.tedprize.org/nachtwey/

I will no doubt need to watch this over and over until it is burned into my memory. I know that the experiences of this week have opened my mind to some new possibilities and I write this to pass along the message that when you think you've got it rough take a second, look around and realize the obviousness of the truth. I can only hope that out of these powerful messages I can at the very least get to the end of EVERY day and without a doubt say...

Today was a good day!